Friday, December 15, 2017

Church Shopping (It's Not for the Faint of Heart)

I have had this title (and only the title) in my drafts waiting for me to write about it for ages. I haven't felt much like blogging lately, but I thought I would start on this...in hopes to get back into it.

Let's be honest: Church shopping sucks. Yes, we aren't really supposed to say that word, but it does. There're so many factors (REAL factors, not just, is there good parking? Do they have nice couches in the foyer?). Shopping for a church really is tough: is the singing good? Does the Pastor preach the Word? Are the people friendly? Is there a small/care group? If you have a family, what is the children's church like? Does the pastor try to connect with you?

Let me digress:

I grew up in the church. Literally. My dad was (and is) the pastor of our small village church, so I am pretty picky when it comes to what to look for in a church. After I left to go to Bible College at the wise old age of 18, I knew that where I would go to church in Calgary; it was easy. My uncle was the pastor there for years, and I knew lots of people (heck, I was related to most of congregation!). From then on, I moved back home, back to my home church. Then I moved to Kamloops, where I can't even remember where I went to church. Like, I am thinking about it right now, and I really cannot remember. Then I moved back home for awhile, back to my home church...then I moved to Regina, SK, and I went to two churches: one was an Evangelical Lutheran Church, and I also went to Young Adults at an Alliance Church. Both were good churches. I came to know them from the lady where I was staying with. Then I moved to Calgary (again), and I went to my "default" church where my Uncle Pastored. It was ok, but it was tough. I wasn't married, and I was "too old" to be in the young adults. But, I had lots of fun memories there, too. Since I didn't have a car, I would usually get rides with friends and family (thus, back to Default Church). Then, it was back home for awhile, then back to Kamloops (in case you are keeping track, that is back home 3x, and Calgary 2x [well, three times, but the 2nd time was only for a few weeks] and Kamloops 3x). When I moved back in 2004, I didn't know where to go; I tried a few, and I stuck with them for awhile, only to either move (and thus needing to go where I could walk to take the bus), or for me to really just get tired of going there. Again, I was still not married, and now I was REALLY too old to join the Young Adults. I was kind of alone, to be honest. I met Anker online, and I think I was going to a small church plant not too far from where I was living. Prior to that, I had tried the Alliance, a Church called Bible Truth (I think it was /is under the PAOC), and, well, I think that was all. Just as I met Anker. I had also had moved to another part of the city, so I was sort of looking for a church to go to. I went to another PAOC church called Calvary Temple/Calvary Community Church. I was there for 11 years.

When we moved to this side of town over 2 years ago, I continued going, b/c I had made a home there. I knew everyone, and I had a place. Then our pastor retired, and we got a new pastor (well, it took awhile, but we got one). Prior to this Anke had stopped going to church. Period. At all. I continued to go alone (still do), things continued on. Then our Associate Pastor left. We were all very sad. Prior that, though, in the summer of 2016, Anker and I did both help with VBS, and I really thought that he would start coming back. When he didn't, I kind of stopped going, too. I wasn't sure if I should keep going to CCC. I liked it, but a lot of my friends had left, it was too far to go (especially in the winter), and I really wasn't connecting like I was years gone by. I REALLY struggled with whether I should continue going. I talked with Anker, I talked with my parents, and some friends. I didn't go to church much during the summer. I kind of needed time to figure out what to do. I tried a church pretty close to us, but it wasn't my type at all. I kind of narrowed it down to two churches in the city; one was close to us, and one that is downtown. Our old pastor goes there, and a few other people who I know go there, and it is close. I went a few times, and I after the 2nd time, I knew that I was supposed to make that my home church. Anker and I have met with the pastor and his wife, and he said that he wants to go, but he has yet to. I HOPE to get him out Sunday. It is really small, and I think it is perfect for us.

I haven't officially "broken it off" with our old church. I think I am putting it off. I feel super sad, as it was where we met, where we got married, etc. It isn't easy to move. It sucks, actually. And I think if there were only one or two factors, I might have stayed. But in my heart of hearts, I know that it is the right thing to do. This is the longest church that I have ever stayed at, other than my home church. But, to be honest, it isn't the same church as it was even a year go. I will miss some of my friends that still go there, and I hope that we will still stay connected with our friends who still go there. A piece of my heart will always remain at CCC, and I hope to go back a few times a year to say hi to people that I know. Hey...I might even go back in a few years.

What about you? What do you look for in a church? Do you really strive to make ONE church your church home? Have you done a lot of church shopping in the past?


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